Create, obsess, repeat...

Productivity

2011-09-12T22:54:00.000-07:00

I'm actually getting shit done. And the profanity is completely necessary to stress the importance of my productivity level.

New website, here. New show, installing this weekend. New studio space that needs a good cleaning/organizing. I hope I can keep this up.

Life in general...

2011-02-25T16:45:00.000-08:00

It happens and occasionally (more often lately) I freak out about stuff. I know this is supposed to be my "creative" blog, but who cares? I figure maybe 2 people actually read this thing, so I'm free to fill it with whatever drivel I want.

I have two lists in my head at the moment. One titled "Things to worry about..." and the other "Things to be excited about..." There has been a lot of shit added to my "worry" list in the last couple weeks.

Worry #1: My Job

Surprise, surprise... The college is looking for a full time applicant to take over my classes. With all the cuts to educational spending, I was bound for the chopping block. But it isn't as simple as, "You don't have a class to teach next semester." It's more like, "Maybe you'll have a job, maybe you won't..." Career limbo.

Worry #2: Family

Cousin and boyfriend broke up. Future-in-laws are talking divorce. My dad's dog is having surgery next week and may not survive. It's always something...

Worry #3: Living Arrangements

Fiance and I are in the middle of a short sale that hasn't been so short. Everyone has approved, can we just sign some papers and get some keys now?! I've had too many nightmares this week about this sale falling through...

About an hour ago, Worry #4 crossed over to my "Things to be excited about" list. In the last couple weeks while I've been waiting patiently for SOMETHING to be resolved, something finally has. The wedding venue I chose just announced that they were going to be sold to a chain. An expensive chain that my family can't afford... I just got an email from our coordinator that everything will be "just as planned," maybe even better. So...

Excitement #1: Wedding

It will be awesome.

Excitement #2: Finances

Future husband and I just pulled our resources together. Joint bank accounts!

Excitement #3: My Students

They're all so eager and talented this semester. Former students are winning competitions and sharing their good news too.

Excitement #4: Upcoming Exhibition

For now, I'm very excited about this. In a few months, it'll transfer over to "worry" when my paint is taking to long to dry or the framer hasn't called.

My lists have FINALLY evened out. Lets hope they stay that way (or improve!)

New Solo show

2011-02-05T11:05:00.000-08:00

I think having "professor" on my resume has worked out well for me.

"Bubbie's Birthday" (posted previously) is at Gallery Route One. And the Merced Multi-Cultural Art Center has given me a 3 month solo show in their main gallery for the fall!

I'm thinking landscapes like this one. They're sellable.

This particular landscape won't be shown. It's a surprise housewarming gift for the future in-laws.

Awesome job, wonderful boyfriend/fiance/future-husband, wedding, new house, and solo exhibition... 2011 is shaping up to be an amazing year.

Time to start painting again!

Change in plans...

2010-11-13T10:29:00.000-08:00

I've severely neglected my blog, but with a good excuse. I've gone from student to teacher in minimal time. Rough but rewarding transition. With winter break coming up, I'll finally have time to work on my own stuff instead of my kids.

Now what?

2010-05-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

I've officially graduated with my MA! So now what do I do with myself? I've managed to find studio space (at work). Without any pressing deadlines or student shows, it'll be up to me to keep myself motivated. In the last week I've applied to 3 exhibitions across the state. Keeping my fingers crossed...

Because I didn't get into any graduate programs (I guess that 4.0 GPA was all for nothing...), I decided to join the Lodi Community Art Center. I know one or two professors/teachers of mine used to be members. It'll be very different working with them as a colleague instead of as a student. Hopefully working with other local, more experienced artists will keep me motivated and enrich my work on some level.

So... I'm super lazy...

2010-02-13T11:06:00.000-08:00

And I pretty much forgot this thing existed. I got so caught up reading about the work of others I haven't bothered contributing to my own. Thesis exhibition coming up in the next month. I've been painting furiously and hope to keep up the pace. I've put together a decent grad school portfolio (or what I think of as decent). Hope to hear back in the next 2 months from a few universities.

Here's a little preview of what's to come...

New Artist Statement

2009-10-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

As much as I hate these things, here it is...

The imagery in this series deals directly with the loss of my identical twin sister. Losing her a few days after our birth, I know her solely through dream. This series began by reconstructing personal family photographs. I’ve digitally manipulated the source images to include a double of myself, the only way I can include her presence.

I've chosen to use photographs of myself between the ages of 3 and 6. Children at that age are physically vulnerable, awkwardly growing into their own bodies and developing their personalities. Depicting myself and sister at this age helps me to convey my own vulnerability in sharing this aspect of my personal history. I've chosen to include my younger brother, cousins, and other family members in these images. I feel that by including them I can paint my sister into the family.

By reinterpreting these images through painting, they take on a dreamlike quality. The family photo becomes a different entity. The visible brush strokes, drips and palette give the image that unclear dreamy mood that isn’t easily achieved through traditional photography. I consider these works a reunification process. I’m able to re-imagine my own childhood memories with my other half.

More new work...

2009-09-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

Twinship 2

2009-08-31T15:20:00.001-07:00

Twinship

2009-08-31T15:15:00.001-07:00

New Paintings

2009-05-12T14:38:00.001-07:00

One of my new paintings, and the source photo of me and my brother.

It's starting...

2009-04-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know how, but traveling to Egypt has helped get a little more in-touch with myself. I'm not even remotely part Middle Eastern, I'm as white, Indo-European, as any girl could be. Maybe it's the reminder of my global citizenship, that we really aren't all that different.

And I took some great photos!

I've decided it's time for me to start on my real work. My culminating thesis idea. My twin series. I don't have more than a few photos, sketches, and scribbled ideas, but I'm hoping the work will come furiously out.

Maybe not "furiously," but it should happen quickly if I keep my fingers crossed.

Burnt out...

2009-03-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to feel like a one trick pony, painting one figurative tree after another. Maybe it's time for me to take a little break, or maybe abandon it and start something completely new. I know there's plenty left for me to explore with the Daphne imagery, but I still feel like I'm in a rut.

New Work, Same Series

2009-03-11T22:51:00.001-07:00

It's Done!

2008-12-09T21:51:00.000-08:00

Here's the final panel and finished triptych.

Triptych part 2

2008-11-04T18:37:00.000-08:00

I'm going to abandon the far left panel and do a new one. It doesn't really fit with the progression of the series. So far, this thing is 4 ft tall and 9 ft across. I can't even hang all three panels on the largest wall of my apartment.

Artist Statement

2008-10-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

I hate writing artist statements. I always feel narcissistic lauding my own work. Unfortunately, they're a requirement for most exhibitions. I reworked an old statement this week for my screening review. Here it is... (without endnotes)

"Both the great and lesser mythologies of mankind have, up to the present, always served simultaneously, both to lead the young from their estate in nature, and to bear the aging back to nature and on through the last dark door." – Joseph Campbell

The imagery in my work is derived from dream and classical mythology. My fascination with these subjects began in elementary school. At that time, myths were no more than bedtime stories, a form of entertainment that spurred my imagination. Through my work I’ve discovered that myth isn’t only about storytelling. As Campbell states, myth can be seen as the “documents of the childhood of our race,” as part of a collective unconscious with similar symbols and stories that appear across cultures. Roland Barthes takes this a step further. Myth can be a message, a type of speech, “Everything… can be a myth.”

Although myth may not hold the same ritualistic function it once did, it provides a vast vocabulary of imagery and symbols that I feel compelled to work with. For me, the creative act is a form of ritual. The application of paint to canvas is an energy transfer between artist and artwork. Perhaps myth is restored with its lost ceremonial function through the creative act. There is an extended tradition of artists who work in the realm of myth. Francisco Goya, Anselm Keifer, and Frida Kahlo have all referenced these stories. The collective symbols and images they chose brought deeper meaning to their paintings. It is my intent to use this imagery to describe my experiences. Through painting, I find meaning behind the myth.

Triptych

2008-10-27T00:10:00.000-07:00

Another 36"x48" canvas. I've decide to work in triptych format. You can kinda get an idea what the first to panels would look like together below. The two of them take up my entire living room wall. I don't know what I'm going to do when I finish the last panel.

Anyone need to cover some wall space?

More Daphne... part 4

2008-10-15T22:20:00.000-07:00

Last critique it was suggested that I paint bigger, darker, and even a little scarier. I'm definitely trying...

This is part of a triptych I'm working on. Three 36"x48" panels. The second part is in progress and will continue on the right side. The verticality of this one piece alone feels too crowded. This abstract forest I'm creating needs to open up a bit more.

More Daphne... part 3

2008-09-29T18:17:00.000-07:00

More Daphne... part 2

2008-09-22T23:01:00.000-07:00

Some older work...

2008-09-15T18:21:00.001-07:00

Finished this one a few months ago. It works well with a lot of the other pieces I've posted here. Based off one of my Denmark photos. It still needs a title...

More Daphne...

2008-09-11T14:34:00.000-07:00

I keep returning to this same mythological image... I'll have to figure out why.

Finished it yesterday. 24 x 30, oil on canvas.

I think I might be using the "Daphne" image as a defense. Being in a new city, new school, new art department, etc... I feel like I'll have to deal with criticism from unfamiliar sources, develop a "thick skin" (or, in Daphne's case, tree bark).

Although, all I've received (so far) has been praise.

I've got another one started. I should have it photographed next week.

Icarus II

2008-09-08T19:33:00.000-07:00

It's finished!

Added a little wire sculpture and some feathers to it. Reworked over the whole image with compressed charcoal. I missed the "sketchy" feel of the original drawing.

Icarus

2008-09-04T22:27:00.000-07:00

So... there's this piece I'm working on...

Started out as a simple doodle, a few spheres, curvilinear lines, nothing meaningful. Then I added an eye (I do this a lot in random sketches, don't ask me why.) It evolved into an abstracted face, a head, shoulders, landscape, heavenly bodies... then finally Icarus.

(Awfully bad photo of my pencil sketch. I need a scanner. I had to REALLY mess with the levels to get it to come out somewhat recognizably.)

I don't always know why I create these things, they just happen.

I really hate to say that I identify with the Surrealists since every neophyte hack of an art student can't seem to get enough Dali. But, the illustration of dream imagery, mythological hints, and the fact that this sketch began purely subconsciously, I think I'm pretty deep into Surrealist territory.

I'm transferring this sketch on to canvas... Here's what I got so far...

View from Windmist III

2008-08-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

Not the best quality image... oh well...

Finished this one at the end of May. I've painted a few landscapes (even sold a couple) depicting the pasture behind the family beach house. This was the biggest landscape I've painted to date (40" x 30").

I love cloudscapes. They easily set the tone for the entire painting. Add so much mood and movement. And they come so easily to me. Cloud formations are already painterly. I always paint the sky first.

Self Portrait

2008-08-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

I actually painted a self-portrait where I don't look angry, sad, scared, or devoid of thought. I took an old, unintentionally morose looking self portrait and repainted it two weeks ago. And I'm surprisingly pleased with the results.

The best part is it actually kinda looks like me! Maybe now that I'm quite a bit more confident as a painter it's finally coming across in my portraits. There still are problem areas (the neck, my cartoonish color palette, etc...) but I can always repaint it again.

Reverse Pygmalion cont...

2008-07-31T20:30:00.000-07:00

A painting I did last week based on the previous photo. The proportions are off, pose is unnatural. But my mom likes it! I guess I'll call it a "work in progress" since I know I'll probably take it off the wall in a month and repaint it.

Reverse Pygmalion

2008-07-30T19:45:00.000-07:00

I took this photo about a month ago. I was in Italy. The bus driver needed to stop for his 10am cigarette so he pulled over at this quiet park (even though he didn't speak a word of English, you could always tell when Euri needed a smoke). Somewhere between Trevi and Roma.

My cousin and I stumbled on this statue on the far side park along the banks of a mineral pool. The pools and nearby creek used to feed into a Roman bath. While we were furiously photographing the statue (trying to get a good shot before Euri finished his cigarette), I started thinking about Pygmalion. The Greek myth about a sculptor who fell in love with one of his own statues. Because he was so infatuated with his creation, the gods brought her to life.

I thought of this sculpture as a "reverse Pygmalion." Maybe the sculptor loves his model enough to immortalize her in marble and place her next to these quiet mineral pools.

I need to do this...

2008-07-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

I'm forcing myself to write about my own artwork. I hate going through critiques without having any thoughts on why I create the images I do. I usually end up stumbling incoherently over my own words, afraid of sounding too narcissistic. Hopefully by keeping a blog I can work some things out. I might be a little more motivated to paint, too.
I think my compositional skills may have transformed into minor OCD. Lately, I've been organizing objects into little still-lifes. I noticed this about a month and a half ago while traveling through Italy. While in resturaunts I'd fidget with the silverware, plates, and glasses until they "fit" in an organized pattern. No real thought behind the actions, I just started arranging things. I still can't bring myself to crumple my napkin and throw it on the table after a meal. I have to fold it neatly and tuck it under the rim of my plate, parallel to any unused cutlery. Used silverware has to lie parallel on the plate at a 45 degree angle. Occasionally, it will get to the point where I'll secretly judge the rest of my dinner party based on how organized they've left their place setting. My mother is the worst, wading up her napkin until the original shape is unrecognizable then shrouding her plate with the wrinkled mess. So far, my little "still-lifes" haven't manifested themselves outside the resturant. And I haven't had the urge to organize anyone elses things. Compositional arrangements or OCD? Haven't figured it out yet.